Friday, November 21, 2014

A long time coming....

Answers are finally streaming in for this long journey I have been trudging along on. I am grateful for the knowledge because I will be able to have what I need in order to move forward. Sometimes life throws you lemons and you just have to squeeze and squeeze until you are able to make lemonade. Or, throw the lemons to the lions and just pick oranges or apples instead...

In other news, I am only 3 weeks from the end of my semester and graduating!

I have been taking this poetry class that has become a huge love of mine. Poetry has always been an outlet for me, but recently more than ever it has been a more developed and polished outlet.

----

Oh my sweet darling
Where did you go?
Over the hills and through the woods?
Why stay in the shadows?

I long to see your lovely face
Hear your magnetic voice
That which I never saw or heard

Are you in my dreams?
Were you ever real?
How will I know?
Where will you go?

I can never wholly grasp
Hold my thoughts and emotions
Foggy, distant, so far in the past

----

My almost mother
I with you knew
I am here
In the chair right next to you

When you look in the mirror
When you listen to the wind
I am looking back & whispering

Every night when you sleep I am
there with you keeping the
nightmares away
never leaving

I know you don't understand
and neither do I but don't ever
let go of the past
I am there with you always

----

My Darling,


You are the one that I will never know. The one that will never be. The one that will never grow. Today I discovered that it couldn’t possibly be. I am saddened for this lose, but I know it isn’t just me. What will become of this future of mine? No cradles, blankets, pacifiers. Fine. But can I just say, if you had come, you would have been brighter than the sun. Your face would have shown like beauty beyond. Your heart even bigger, so precious, so young. I would have named you Montana, so precious and picturesque. My darling, my dear, I wish you could be. But now I know, some day may come. Maybe, maybe not.

Love,

Your almost mom.

----

When I look in the mirror I see you
But, who is you
Is it you? Or is it me?
When I see you across the room
I see me
But is it you?
Or is it me?

Some say we could be twins
Others say never
But I see you in me
And me in you
Aren't we clever?!

Twins we are not
But we could be
Years between us = many

When I see you or hear you
Across the room or
Through the phone
My heart jumps and my lips curl
I cannot help but be filled with joy

Did I mention you are not one
Three I guess
Could there be more
Which one am I think of
Oh, you are always there
But, who is you?
Is it me?

----

Anyways... That is all for now. Just continuing on this twisted path of life searching for answers - hoping that sooner rather than later I will have what I need.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Wow!

Time flies when you are having fun ad I'm not sure if it was all fun but most of it was so we will just say it! 

I haven't blogged since September but should be back to blogging a usual here in the next couple weeks. I am nearing the end of my final semester before my bachelors degree and I cannot wait to actually have my life back! 

If working full time and going to school full time wasn't enough, I decide to throw in moving, family visits, and getting married!! 

It's been a hectic few months and I'm so very grateful for rest and relaxation today. Also for the delicious smells filling the house this morning as my husband makes us breakfast! 

I know that November is national writing month, but due to all the other things pulling me away from my family I decided to not commit more time away. So December will be my writing month. Also, I know November houses thanksgiving and has become the month everyone shares what they are thankful for, but I have opted out of that as well because I enjoy giving thanks of everything I'm thankful for when it happen always! 

We are anxiously awaiting our final wedding prints and will post a few once we receive them from the photographers! 

Needless to say it's finals crunch time so I must get back to that, but just wanted to take a few minutes to write!