Thursday, August 15, 2013

Love is...

Have you ever seen those cute little love is comics with the little man and girl ... 

My parents used to cut them out and give them to each other when I was little. As I have grown up and seen them here and there they have really grown on my heart. Some of them are really silly and some are really sweet - other are downright romantic and are the glue that binds two together. 

Love is awesome and beautiful - love is compassionate and fruitful. Love is hopeful and full of dreams. Love is passionate and kind. Love is caring and heartfelt. Love is respectful and warm. 

Love is also heartbreaking - full of sadness and despair. Love is hard and takes two. Love is full of loss and emptiness. Love is sacrifice and compromise. 

Love a lot of times is lonely. The thing they don't tell you in all the comics and movies is that it doesn't end in rainbows and butterflies. There isn't a happily ever after every time or for some there isn't one at all. The hardest part is that even though you are sharing everything with someone - you feel alone, lonely, etc. 

It's hard enough to help along a functional and healthy relationship - let alone trying to make something work that won't. We are human and we try to fix things and people. We try to fix what's broken and if people aren't like us we automatically assume they are broken. So, when a man comes along who is nice but isn't ready for marriage a woman thinks its her mission to ready that man for marriage. Or when a mans not ready for children, then put them with children and make them fall in love - they will want one of their own... Etc. 

Unfortunately, we are never ready for the backfire. When the plan doesn't work. When the man doesn't follow through. When life doesn't pan out how we planned. What do we do then? We keep moving on. 

Because - love is letting go. 

Sometimes it's hard for us to see because we have our love blinders on. Come on. We all know what I'm talking about. Those love blinders we keep on because even though deep in our hearts we know the truth we just don't want to believe it so we blind ourselves from it in order to keep on living this way. Yet in the long run it only hurts us more. 

Love is speaking the truth. 

When you have something to say it should be said no matter the cost. You shouldn't try to appease the other person or be careful of their feelings to the extent that you aren't sharing yours. Honesty is the best policy and always has been. We know this. So - sometimes the hardest things to say are the best things to say. They might hold the worst sting or bite but that pain will ease with time and the scars will heal. 

Love is not settling. 

Never settle for less because when you settle for less you will always be looking for more. This is not fair to yourself or to your significant other. You have to search for what satisfies you and keeps you challenged. If you aren't challenged then you aren't keeping up with what's best for you. Never settle for less than what you deserve because you deserve more than you believe you do. 

Love is respect. 

Respect is such a huge quality that lies at the core of love. Even on your bad days when you are fighting and not liking each other, you should still respect each other. Respect the sanctity of your vows, your commitment to be only to each other. Respect your partner verbally, emotionally, physically, psychologically. Respect needed space and respect time. Respect the need for intimacy, etc. 

There is so much more I could talk about here but I won't... 

Love is vulnerably and willingly giving your whole self to another person expecting nothing in return- passionate, selfless, patient, kind hearted. 

The worst is when you love like this but you don't receive this love back. Recently I watched the bachelorette with Desire and she was distraught because she felt as if she loved like this over and over yet never received this love in return. Until she found Chris. He really loved her the same way she loved him. It was amazing to watch. (Even though its sappy and tv) 

But we all look for this love story - the one that ends happily ever after with the true love and sappiness all intertwined. Sometimes the road getting there is just a little rougher than expected. 

Love is patient.   

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