Tuesday, August 20, 2013

home

Home is where your heart is. I am sure we have all heard this many times.

Where is our home?
Where is our heart?
Are they together?
Are they spread apart?

Are we lost?
Are we found?
Have we been searching?
Do we need to send the hound?

Lost forever?
Is it a lost cause?
Can we be redeemed?
Are there too many flaws?


Was I caught up in it?
Caught up in his art?
Where is my home?

Where is my heart?

We all ask ourselves sometimes where our hearts are. Where is our focus? Sometimes our hearts may be focused in the wrong direction and that leads us down the wrong paths and toward the wrong doors.

Home is where our hearts are. What if we cannot find our hearts - let alone recognize a home?

To me - growing up - a home has always been considered a place that offered a roof over my head. Whether that was a house, apartment, hotel, church, friends house, etc. It was a place that rendered a sleeping environment where I didn't feel worried or scared that I had to fear for anything or sleep outdoors because we couldn't afford shelter. As I grew older, home was a place similarly representing a place where I took shelter from the outside. It was a place that generally offered a meal, a place to sleep and there was always someone else there - and most frequently never a dull moment.

I have moved around frequently in my life and have never sunk roots down because I have never felt at home. I never have sunk my heart into a place really hard enough to grow roots deep enough to want to stay planted. Until now....

I have come to realize that this where my heart is - The 10 - Mission Church - Mission Students - Education - Writing - Blogging - Family - Friendships - etc.

All of this that is growing as my roots are growing faster and deeper and it is more than I could have ever expected. I cannot even begin to understand what I am experiencing here because I have never felt at home somewhere like this. I have never wanted to stay somewhere the way I want to stay here. It is such an inner struggle I have been facing. I want to be closer to work and school, but I cannot bring myself to move there because that would draw me away from the roots I am planting here. I cannot pull myself away from this and it is the first time in my life I have ever been faced with this type of a dilemma.

My heart has not been so homeland focused over the past couple years and I intend to spend some time refocusing. I am excited about everything that will happen as that is happening. Home is where your heart is - when your heart is home focused what more can happen I am sure will be amazing and I cannot wait to see what will come of it.

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