Thursday, May 16, 2013

In Sickness and in health....

I am not very good at doing nothing, but apparently that is what I am being called to do at this moment in time. My brain and body was wired and trained up in a manner to work and go and keep busy. I don't even take vacations let alone multiple days off in a row. Now mind you - most of this time I was in the hospital - but I am getting antsy.

I have been sick for almost four weeks now. The illness coming and going, some days better, some days worse. There were moments or days when I thought I was healed but then I would end the day with a high fever or wake in the night with chills and illness. I gave in and went to the doctor. They tested for strep and ran a bunch of normal blood work. Everything came back negative. They said - it's a viral infection - wait it out or call us in a week. A week later I still wasn't well so I called and they gave me a z-pack. I took my five days worth, but still wasn't healed. Last Friday I started having real problems with shortness of breath and exhaustion so I called the drs office to schedule something for the following Monday and they yelled at me of course and made me come in that day. More blood work drawn and tests ran and then sent me to the Edwards ER.

I pull up to the ER valet parking with a look of death on my face. I can barely stand let alone speak to the gentleman who hands me my ticket. As I walk inside the ER the ladies standing at the welcome desk start rushing toward me with a wheel chair. (Apparently I looked as awesome as I felt.... lol) The ladies started asking me questions that I could barely answer and got me back into a room. The doctor and nurse come in and everything is like a whirlwind. So many questions and comments at the same time, all I can think of is that my head is pounding, I'm thirsty, I'm burning up and I cannot breathe. Then the sticks start coming. Three in the right arm and four in the left - apparently blood cultures have to be taken from multiple sites and if the first nurse cannot get you stuck then someone else has to come in and try again. Then I'm sent off to x-ray for a chest x-ray. I was given bag after bag of fluids in the short time I was in the ER. I return to blood test results. I guess my infection count and blood clotting count are sky high - higher than normal.

They call Infectious Disease ..... OMG!

Then the funny questions start - do you have animals? have you been to a farm or barn recently? umm... what do animals or barns have anything to do with my symptoms. Of course the answers are no and there is more questions left unanswered for them.

They decide to admit me - so dad calls and orders a Lou :) His first experience every eating Lou Malnati's pizza - it was delicious - I just wish I had been feeling better to really enjoy it more. All the nurses and transports were trying to steal our pizza.. lol. it was funny.

So lots more blood work and rounds of tests. Over night I had three more blood draws, and the next day we followed that up with a CT of my chest/lungs, legs, and head. An ultrasound of my entire abdomen and both full legs. All of which came back normal - giving them no answers. Every night I was spiking high grade fevers and my symptoms were getting worse. They were waiting on blood work to come back, but it was taking forever. The doctors kept ordering more blood draws and around the clock I could feel myself getting sicker and weaker. Finally on Tuesday they ordered an MRA of my brain and when that came back normal they decided there were no blood clots, no tumors, lesions, or masses inside my body. But then the blood culture they were waiting for came back positive for two separate viral infections. And.... they discharged me.... haha

So - because the infections are viral and not bacterial there is no treatment of the actual infection available, only treatment/management of the symptoms. The hospital cannot keep me or really do anything for me, and frankly I was tired of paying for their overpriced ice packs and listening to the patients in the next rooms trying to die and ripping out their IV's and trying to escape. I wasn't getting rest because I was miserable and although the night staff was incredible, the day shift really needed some work. The food was awful and I just was tired of being there. But the 6:05pm announcement of immediate discharge was a little striking considering mom was leaving to go to Marissa and Skyler's concert :( She missed it and had to wait another 2 hours with me at the hospital for the dr to put in the prescriptions correctly to the pharmacy and answer his pages.

Now I am home (well at my parents house) because frankly I cannot do anything on my own and it's killing me. My spleen and liver are enlarged - extremely swollen - and my entire body hurts. My head won't stop aching and I'm so thirsty I would leave my tongue out under a dripping faucet if that's all I had. My fever has gone away - which is incredible - so I am hopeful that I am slowly getting better, but my other symptoms are still full force.

The problem really lies with the auto immune deficiency disorder that weakens my immune system allowing my body to be more susceptible to illness and illness to wreck more havoc on my body than any normal person's body. Also - normally people will test positive for one virus, not two, but my lucky self has two intense viruses active inside of me right now. I wonder.... what kind of damage does a virus do that cannot be undone?

So here I am sitting on the couch - tired, weak, thirsty, swollen, hurting, trying to rest .... and all I can think of is going back to work and planning my fall semester for school. I keep hearing stories of people who had one virus that were knocked out of commission for 2 months or more, one woman wasn't well for an entire year, and I have both of these and cannot really afford to miss that much life, work, or anything else.

I know this is God's way of telling me to rest, that I need other people and should lean on them....

but really... i would rather be learning this in a healthy point in my life not in a sickness ....

Nothing ever happens the way we want it to - it always happens the way we need it to and God knows what we need more than anyone else in our life. So I am resting, waiting, hoping, and praying that my body can heal and I can get back to staying busy ...

More updates to come.

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