Thursday, November 8, 2012

Rejuvenation...

This is so weird... Time is passing so quickly and I can't help but think back on last year this time... what was I doing? Where was I going? Who was I? Who am I now? Where am I going? What am I doing? How does it all compare and what have I accomplished.

Saturday I attended a woman's retreat with Mission Church. We basically went to a lodge in the woods and spent the day relaxing, crafting, painting nails, experiencing time with other ladies and God. It was extremely rejuvenating and exactly what I needed to put me in the right mindset for moving forward.

Saturday night I had some great dinner conversation with my brother and a friend. We just sat and pondered over some life questions... What have I learned this year? How have I grown? How can I apply that to my life now?

Last year I was stressing over relationships, hosting Thanksgiving dinner for 20+, and worrying about plans for Christmas and the New Year... My life was a complete roller coaster ride from one day to the next.

Now I am here... living in a new place, working at a new job, surrounded by new people, volunteering at a new church, going to a new school, working on a new relationship, what else??!! lol. When I look at my life, I think of all the times I really saw God at great work and it was in the most hectic times that I was at such peace in my heart. Yes, some days are hard and life can get stressful, but I know that I am on the right path and I am doing what God is calling me to do.

A large portion of my life I have lived in fear. I have thought I wasn't good enough to be the one God was calling to do something or another. I have hid in the darkness, even when God called me and he knew where I was anyways. I have been tied down by these chains for so long and in so many different situations ... but I have never felt more free in my entire life! More independent of this world and more dependent on God.

My life is far from perfect. I am far from perfect. I know that. My life is merely a journey on a winding road trying to find that destination that is laid out for me. If only I had a life GPS... lol. For now... I will say that I have learned to accept the advice of others and head the warnings placed before me. I have decided to be more open and vulnerable. I have decided to put my whole heart into a few things instead of putting pieces of myself amongst many things. I have become more independent of people and more dependent on God. I am learning how to define my roles, as there are many.

I am really looking forward to this new holiday season and seeing what will come .... I think I might actually decorate this year! I have some Christmas lights... maybe hang them from my balcony?

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