Wednesday, July 11, 2012


So - there are lots of changes happening in my life currently and they are all for the best. Everything is happening so quickly and falling into perfect place. As I sit here on my couch and look around and bare walls and empty bookcases, I know that what is to come is amazing and enriching. I cannot wait for yet another new chapter of my life to start, and I am so very excited to be finally taking the steps that I have known for a while I needed to take.

I was at a family picnic on Sunday and my grandmother's husband, Jerry, was talking to me about life. He told me that I looked so very happy, and that he was glad. I guess I hadn't thought that I was ever noticeably unhappy, but others obviously noticed. And the more I think about all the reasons for wanting this change, I know that deep inside, it's to get a fresh clean start. I don't want to carry this with me, and I want to leave it all behind. I know that it will always be a part of me and my past, but it doesn't have to be a daily reminder.

Life takes funny twits and turns, mostly completely unexpected. Yet, we all seem to act like we know what is going on and as if we are in control of this craziness. I surely know that I don't want to own responsibility for most of the craziness that happens in my life, but I also know that there wouldn't be as much craziness if I weren't responsible for it all.

It takes some looking back on life and specific situations to analyze, or rationalize. But, we always are trying to force things into place, or make something out of nothing, or figure out what we want, instead of just letting be... I have learned a lot by just being. You can learn a lot about yourself and about others by just being, observing, sitting back and letting life flow and just riding it wherever it takes you. You would be surprised where things will go and how naturally things will happen in your life that you were previously trying to force into place.

People will eventually show you their true colors: do not be blinded by who you want them to be and just let them be who they are. IF it works, awesome, if not, move on.

Life is full of bumps, barricades, and unexpected occurrences: You will never be prepared, just be ready and go with it.

Love may be blind, it may hurt, it may be anything you want it to be in order to excuse away your actions, but at some point along the way you knew, and you chose to ignore the warning signs. Don't ignore the warning signs.

Honesty is the best policy: Even when it hurts. I knew what was right, and even though i knew it would hurt someone else, i had to do what was right for everyone and sometimes you have to be the "mean one" or the one that does the "right thing".

I have most recently discovered that the quantity of people you surround yourself with does not add value to the quality of life that you live. Just because you can stand someone or get along with them does not mean they should take a lead role in your life in any way shape or form. We were created to be together. In the beginning God created Adam, and Adam was lonely, so he gave Adam Eve. God created us to be relational creatures. But Adam and Eve were created from one another to be a part of one another, in order to symbolize that we cannot be separated, and we are meant to be one.

The changes that are occurring all around me are bringing me closer and closer to that oneness with the right man, and I am more and more excited for these changes as they come. I know that I am taking the steps to be closer to him and that is all that matters. Right now I just need to focus on that journey and let everything else fall into place. I have always been taught that if I am doing his will, then he will provide. So I know, I have faith, and I trust that this is truth. All of these changes will happen, and will be best and I am super excited to see what happens next!

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